kamy

2009-07-02T23:12:00.009+08:00

my apologies, i am in a 1/8 awake mind now, i can see that there is a drastic grammar error and everything in my post, but i just wanted to finish this up and go to sleep.
bear with the bad english, otherwise, you can leave. (:

i wonders if i am turning nocturnal or that i have a little too much coffee yesterday which led to me having insomnia.
after some twisting and turnings, i manage to fall asleep some time near 1am or so and was rather wide awake as early as 4am in the morning, not woken up by anything.
had such a hard time trying to go back to sleep after that.

woke up at 8am to do my Intro to H&T's online tutorial assignment and when i make my trip over to the kitchen or bathroom, i can feel that my blood isn't circulating very well as the giddyness remained for like 30 seconds or so then cease, and during that 30 seconds, my world is like shaking and my view is unclear.
guess this is the cause of me blacking out in the house twice last year.

when i was at the bus stop, i looked at my thighs and saw the veins showing.
so i start to rub on it and saw that the veins on my arms are very obvious too,
and my hands looked so jade-green.
i was really shocked that i stared at my own hands for a while and started rubbing them..
i guess my body is really getting older than my actual age,
there are so many purple veins showing up from my thighs. people say that this are the results was too much walking and standing.
i am sorry to say, i don't wish to stand for long hours too, but what choice do i have?
standing around, serving customers is my job, i don't lead those luxurious life as many people out there does.

okay, the end of all those complains.
that Crystal really uploaded the videos which we took at the library onto Youtube and she even posted them on her blog.

so i shall post them in my blog too, since the title has my name. (:

enjoy people, this is time when you can see the different side of Crystal and Kamy.
the ultimate crazy side, to be specific.

__________________________
Video 1

_________________________

Video 2

________________________

have a good night.

2009-06-30T23:16:00.004+08:00

today was a real crazy day for me.
was in the library doing the OB project, only to realise that i get stuck easily while trying to develop the points for the topics given,
and when i look over to crystal's laptop, trying to see why she was so serious looking at the computer and tying so much, SHE IS PLAYING TYPING MANIAC ON FACEBOOK!!

okay, we are the slackers of the group. - sorry peiting -

but well, i managed to develop some points and got stuck in the dead end so i switched to Restaurant City and start to stare at my avatars.
there was so many tankers and military vehicles in campus and there was so much noise that it penetrates through the windows of the library. i wonder if the windows are soundproof..

okay, and soon, peiting, liling and huixin left for lunch while crystal and i remain in the library.
and turn on the Crazy switch on me.
( there are some funny and stupid video of things crystal and i did but she have yet to send them to me. )

something to end the day, i am ugly, i know.. (:

2009-06-30T10:56:00.002+08:00

woken up by messages that the Intro to H&T makeup tutorial class was cancelled,
and since OB lecture is off, BCS lab lesson is cancelled, there would only be Comm Skill's from 4pm to 6pm later.
i am just wondering, where had all the tutors and lecturers gone to?

so i am rotting around and going to get change in a few minutes time to go to school for project meetings, again..

oh anyway, i got back my Econ's paper yesterday and was still preparing myself if i got a failure.
and when the tutor was holding to my paper, he was taking so long to read out my name,
so when he finally called me and tell me about those mistakes that i done,
i saw that i passed. scoring 75 / 100
what a surprise!
but this isn't the final one though, there is still group projects and the final term exams to be counted in too.

but well, i sense my luck changing now.
mum came in to my room and left $100 on my table as early as 5plus in the morning,
i know that because she didn't close my door tightly after that and she was quarreling with my dad? erm, if you are so unwilling about giving me the money or anything, i think you can save it because i made it through 3weeks and 3days without allowances from you.
and i am still surviving.

okay, i guess i better stop here now before anyone say that i am being unfillial, ungreatful, whatever.

bye

2009-06-28T17:33:00.002+08:00

satisfy my wants and needs.

2009-06-28T01:19:00.007+08:00

lets post something cheerful today. (:

went to the National Library at Victoria Streets and that place was really crowded.
did only 1/4 of the Intro to H&T project and was chased away by the security guard saying that we are not supposed to be sitting there as the plugs are for cleaner uses.
and so, we left for Suntec City, since it is within walking distance.
i was madly craving for some blended coffee, so Liling brought us to McCafe and i had my Mocha Frappe. but there wasn't much satisfaction gained from it.
i guess i shall get another one from other cafes, though i am getting super broke, cravings have to be fulfilled first. :D

seriously, i was totally lost when i am asked to do editing to the project because i don't really know what is going on and everything are taken over by my other group mates.
i am so irresponsible right? i know, and i am sincerely guilty for it all. ):
i shall give my leader's position to Peiting since she is doing so much for the group.

left Marina Square to Dhoby Ghaut to meet Tony because he wanted to watch Transformers,
but everywhere we go, the movie is fully booked or that time timing is too late so we didn't get to watch any movie but roamed the streets of Orchad and finally settled our late dinner at Hongkong Cafe.
Was at Han's previously, but the picture of the food in the menu made me so sleepy and lose appetite so we left and walked from FEP back to Cineleisure.
sort of chatted (which consist of my talkings all the time), ate like near one hour plus cause we were eating very slowly, took a walk and then took the train back to our own home.

some pictures of the day (:

Crystal is so cute and she is simply irresistable! CRYSTAAALLLL~~

2009-06-26T22:29:00.007+08:00

viewed some videos which people took of themselves playing songs through the guitar and uploaded to Youtube.
my jaws dropped seeing them play so well while my guitar is hidden in the cupboard since my O levels started. and it is getting mouldy already.
i miss those days when i would go for lessons and learn a new piece or two with the class.
sad case.

TODAY!

i woke up late [sorta on purpose] and skipped RHT lecture, as usual.
went to look for Crystal and the rest at the library and Mandy came shortly.
printed my application forms for CYA and also some part time job training thing in school, submitted then accompanied Mandy to find our CP to talk about her withdrawal from school.
-discussed details shall not be enclosed, it is up to Mandy to explain.-
thereafter, we had a short chat around and soon after that, she left to meet her friends.

i feel so irresponsible by letting the rest of my various project groupmates do my part of the project, i guess my peer evaluation would be damn bad.
well, if that is so, i have no choice but to really buck up now and study real hard for the final paper so that if my peer evaluation is really very bad and my points are to get deducted, i can still manage to get a Pass and go on to the next semester..
however, i am really worried about myself,
i don't even seem to have the slightest bit of motivation in me to study.
someone please wake me up!

and yes, it is spreading around the net, facebook, MSN, google, EVERYWHERE..
the King of Pop had left us.

though i never liked you due to those news and bad rumours about you in the past,
but i am starting to like your song, You Rock My World.
i believe no matter what, every mistakes would be forgiven and forgotten.

Rest in peace Michael Jackson.

my feelings are suppressed.

2009-06-25T23:51:00.003+08:00

ok, i realise that would be super long-winded and hard to read in my tagboard
so i decided to type it in here..

Angela and Joycelyn..

it is spelled as smudging anyway. 8)

in reply to the both of you

i don't like friends to be crying with me, cause i will feel bad seeing them sad over me.
and i just think that it isn't good to disturb you when you are busy.
well, that is me though.
i don't like to imply too much on my friends, i know you care and all.

thanks for being there for me all the time, but sometimes i think others have their own problem to cope too, so it isn't nice to add on yours to them. everyone needs a breather.
plus, i think the reason to the start of this misunderstanding is really stupid and others might think, why i just can't give in? all this pain are solely my own problems and everything, i am just gaining sympathy.
i wanted so much to give in, but my mum just don't even look at me. so how do i make the approach? do you think that i really like having a cold war with my mum? it hurts me so much to even ask myself "When and in what kind of situation then we will reconcile?".
so i had no choice but to stand strong take what is happening to myself, bear the consequences and live on with life as it is.
though it is tough, but i believe when i look back in the future, it might be a good memory. who knows?
life is not beating me down, so don't worry. i am standing strong!
i am sensing some hope in my life now, and though it is so minimal, but it is good enough for me.
i can withstand the hunger with all my fats everywhere, they are so much to burn away, so don't worry, i won't die from hunger or cold. :D
i am really glad to have friends like you around.
my sincere apologise for those worries that i had caused you.

THANK YOU DARLINGS!!

2009-06-25T23:11:00.009+08:00

Firstly, this post is going to be super wordy, so you can just go on and hop to another blog if you don't like reading.

Secondly, friends who can't accept changes in others, please just read the PURPLE paragraph right at the bottom.

Lastly, friends who are concerned and sort of worried about me all this while, please do read the GREEN paragraph too..

thank you.

sometimes, we should actually trust those "superstitious" zodiac readings and everything..
i was trying to check the date on the calendar around the house and happen to flip to a page where it says about the love, career, wealth and health of people born in the year of Goat.
it shows that the Goat will face wealth situations during the period of June but things will start to change in July onwards.

well, look at me.
my luck was so bad like nobody's business during June,
but now, i sense changes already.
i fought my way through, and finally, i caught the slightest glimpse of light.
though my mum haven't talk to me for coming 3weeks and my savings are drying up, i am jobless..
i never gave up..
i told myself that i have to stand strong no matter what,

i went job hunting through the net, approached the careperson for help because i know that i cannot just rely on financial schemes all the time as sometimes, i would sort of misuse the funds for something else which may be deem as misusing it. i don't know how to put it, but i spoke to Mr Tan this afternoon and he shared with me that some students applied for the financial scheme and then use the funds to buy a new gadget..
well, the last time i got mine, i went for Swensen's.
but i swear, that was part of my project and i did use it to buy the concession for school and save up the rest.. i never misuse it!

ok, i have been selected to work as a waitress at some restaurant or something during the F1 event but the weird thing is, we have to pay $5 for the training?
and another email from the school about working in the school.
so yes, my luck is changing for the better. and i hope it isn't like some roller coaster which goes damn high after some low turns then plunge damn badly.
i would just totally break down like madness.

during the period of 'down-ness' or maybe depression period,
i cried suddely after using the computer, my sleep time changed and i became a nocturnal animal. many times, i wanted to smoke, i stole 2 cigs from my dad, smoked one and had another one still in my bag, a little squashed.

but i guess i could only totally get out of this depression zone when everything starts to have significant change.
nevertheless, i will still be displaying a cheerful front. :)

once again, i sincerely apologise to friends who really care about me and had always been there whenever i need help that this time, i didn't tell you my problems this time round but just bury myself in the darkest corner. but i think sometimes people just need to be alone to think through their own problems and eventually learn from it, get stronger.
i won't resort to any suicidal thoughts, because i am scared of the pain and death, so don't worry.
however, i would just have a period of time when i am behaving totally not like me.

so friends, this is Kamy, everchanging..
if you think that this kind of friend isn't your type or anything, i won't mind if you leave.
because in life, there are many things that are unexpected it would cause people to change.
whatever your decision, that is up to you because, this is me, accept me for who i am. (:

thanks and goodnight.

2009-06-24T21:50:00.004+08:00

why is the time passing so slowly?..
i spent almost an hour or so looking for new blogskin but was in vain. irritating..
went to Great World City's GV to apply for a job,
but the manager told me that they would call me up another day for interview.
well, hopefully the manager does call me back though.
otherwise the freaking-cold-an-hour-sharp bus trip there will be totally wasted.

i am now:
- penniless [ and in debt with loan from Joycelyn]
- jobless [ because i can't manage to find any job that fits my time ]
- lifeless [ piling up with projects and coping with schoolwork ]
- hopeless [ i dare not even think of what would happen tomorrow ]

i totally hate this kind of life.

i just hope to have someone beside me right now to
encourage me,
comfort me,
cuddle me,
give me the sense of security,
and to show me some love..

that is all that i lack now..

whatever.. no one cares

2009-06-22T05:45:00.002+08:00

what am i doing here at this hour?
ok, the fact is, i didn't sleep a wink since the previous post..
i guess the caffeine in me didn't went of since yesterday afternoon.
though my mine is awake, my body isn't working in coordination..
i can't even type properly..
i think my body function is going haywire already.

whatever..

2009-06-22T01:42:00.004+08:00

term break ends, school in a few hours time.
i just cannot imagine going to class without Mandy Teo beside me.
makes me feel so lonely. :(
but well, life still has to go on though i miss her like crazy.

had a fun evening yesterday with Shirley and the rest.
thanks for the Sakae treat by Roseline.
and when i was on my way home, there was this sicko sitting in front of me looking at pornographic pictures on his laptop! behind me were all ah mas, so they can't see due to bad eye-sights.
i am SO OFFENDED!!

well, it is perfectly alright to watch porn, cause everyone have different ways to fulfill their desire.
but can you do it at home instead of out in the public like that?!
hell you go, old man..

goodnight people

2009-06-20T23:33:00.006+08:00

i dread all these feelings.
i dread thinking about what is coming up next.
i dread thinking about my unsettled bills.
i dread thinking about my expenses after school reopens.
i dread thinking about how my savings are drying up.
i dread wiping the tears that flows down my face.
i dread the tightness in my chest when thinking through all these things.
i dread telling people about my problems.
i dread people sympathising me.
i dread making people worried for me.
i dread feeling lost.
and the thing i dread the most now is...
myself.

2009-06-17T01:27:00.007+08:00

was doing my BCS project just now.
but i just couldn't concentrate on it, i guess i am not interested in that subject anymore.

anyway, i finally bought my Audio Technica Onto headphones!!
got it from Tampines 1, Urban Write at $38
was pondering over which colour to get.. if only the red covered one is brown padded.
but well, i bought the beige one. should spare some love for other colours.
______________________________________

*the star is drawn on my face directly..

i personally like this picture. :)

to me, the sound playback isn't that up to what i have expected though,
but nevermind, i have it now. :)
_________________________________________

planned with Jasmine to go to Sentosa tomorrow,
or rather, later this afternoon.
and also some other days to get a backpack together, but hey let me get my pay first can?
at this rate of spending money especially without a single cent from my parents now is really burning a hole in my wallet already.

SO PEOPLE! IF YOU HAVE ANY WEEKEND JOBS, PLEASE CALL ME!!

gotta sleep soon,
goodnight earthlings!

2009-06-16T20:26:00.006+08:00

my life, had undergone so much changes and it became so hard for me to breathe..
my heart, had been drained of love.
my mind, had been filled up with sorrows.
my lungs, had been filled up with poisons.

i sense the change in myself,
i had grew to become ignorant to people around me,
things that are happening in my life.
i have became such a bitchy person.

but who cares?
who knows?
who will be there?

2009-06-13T23:39:00.004+08:00

back from work at the IT fair,
sales was bad, very very competitive..
many annoying customers just came and throw you with tons of questions and left.
but well, at least i still manage to close 2 sales.

and i don't know why, i just want to say..

Mandy Teo, i miss you.

i really miss those times when we fill one another in about things that happened around us.
please meet up soon buddy.

____________________________________________

we have not been on talking term for officially one week.
just a simple chocolate can cause our relationship to be like this..
you say that i look down on you, just because you level of education is low and your job is low classed.. you put all your words into my mouth, and left me totally speechless..

you even treated me like some tenant,
i do my own laundry, i take care of my own meals, i only stay in my own room when i am at home. no one knows about my whereabout. and i i thought i can spend more time with you since it is my term break.
but it turned out so differently from what i have expected..
why are things like that? why are you turning to a total stranger to me now?
why is it that whenever you talk to me, we will start quarelling?
why do you like to compare me to my friends? i just don't understand..

but if that is your choice, then i really have no other comments,
i will just take that i am living all alone here, without any family members,
i will learn to be independent, earn my allowance on my own, making all my available free time occupied so that i won't be able to thing of what it is like in a place i name home, and the treatment i get from someone i call mother.

family...
can someone give me the best definition?
-sighs-

2009-06-12T02:56:00.003+08:00

some random videos i found from The Mr Brown Show. super funny

2009-06-11T21:40:00.003+08:00

went to the IT fair today, hoping to find my Audio Technica Onto headphone,
but all was in vain.
yeemay gave up her weekend's slot for me because she cannot take the working environment.
and so, i've got things to do during my weekends instead of rotting at home.

people having intentions to buy laptop, buzz me!
but only during saturday and sunday, and the brand is Acer. (:

projectS' deadline are drawing near, but i am just not in the mood to do it.
i think i am gonna fail this semester.

you won't be seeing kamy in TP anymore.
nice huh?

byebye readers.

2009-06-10T23:22:00.003+08:00

私は最終的には答えが見つからない

2009-06-09T01:00:00.009+08:00

WOW!
super bloated after the steamboat with Alicia, sister and sister's friend.
and still feeling so even when i reached home, so i was standing up editing the photos and till my tummy feels better.

while i was editing the photo,
Terry came and talk to me on msn, commenting on my display picture.

click for a clearer view. :)

ok, back to steamboat..
let some pictures do the talking firsts.

i guess it is suppose to be some wireless modem,
but the antenna is really eye-catching

sorry, i tried using photoscape to put the photos together,
but it became still picture when it was uploaded here. crap

egg cracking time!
-sister looks real guniang in these pics! :X -

step 1

step 2

step 3

and alicia's turn!

are those eyes suppose to be killer like, or electrifying?
enlighten me, sister.. (:

chef of the day

we were all so, undescribably, BLOATED!
but there were still some food left, so sister and his friend decided to play the number guessing game and the one who got the number will eat up the selected portion of food.

and i was so "lucky" the last time when sister's friend said "we be more extra la, complete the corner corner number.. then like take very long to finish guessing the word."
we go from 1 to 80.. sister chose 2, then when i said 79, I LOST! ohmygod.
i was so bloated that i felt so dizzy.

walked around the closing Suntec City Mall, then went to StarBucks for some drink.
sister's friend offered to send me home, the cab ride was fast,
reached home by 11.20pm, with a bulging tummy. :D

that's all for today.
gotta carry my bulgy tummy to bed now.
BYE PEEPO!

2009-06-07T23:34:00.044+08:00

sorry for the super late posting.

was editing the photos, and i chosen those which i think are better to be posted.

however, different people have different perceptions. :)

FRIDAY, 5TH JUNE 2009

woke up at 7am with a perfectly clear mind to mug for RHT.

this time, the ideas really did went in a little, so i left for school feeling contented. :)

our class were split up into different rooms for the test,

and you can simply feel how panic some of them were.

some continue memorising their notes, some starring into blank,

some chatting around, some walk around.

one is observing people's actions, and that is me..

10mins before the paper starts, we are allowed to read through the paper,

i notice the boy beside me was looking so blank, and starring at the questions as though it was something alien. weird..

the paper was easy, i wanted to stay for the full 1hour,

but it was just too boring and almost 1/4 of the class left.that boy's paper was still blank. god bless you.

went to collect the CCN fund from the finance department,

and my crave for ice cream just came so suddenly.

so i messaged Farhana if she wants to go Swensen's with me.

her reply only came when i am at home, washing up my bowl.

but still, i had made my promise of treating her ice cream, so i met up with her :)

we chatted for more than 20mins or so until the manager came over to ask if we were ready to place our order.

sorry if we looked like some buggers who come into the restaurant to occupy space.

took quite a number of pictures and Farhana went gaga over the Transform function of my camera, because it stretch the image and makes you look slimmer.

Oh please, my dear Farhana, you are not fat.. for heaven's sake..

and so, we enjoyed the scumptious food and ice cream, occupying the seats for more than an hour. WOW!

went over to the park beside compassvale primary school to play a little while,

get rid of our adrenaline rush, and home sweet home. (:

*google chrome and internet explorer uploads the picture so slowly..*

pose copying time. XD

things we did to stay in the restaurant for more than 1hour..

**not the end yet. shall upload more tomorrow. sorry if i am taking too long

2009-06-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

i am so gonna crash RHT tomorrow with a ZERO for the paper.
believe it or not..

i had been writing notes from the book, weird huh?
but i just can't read from the slides in there.
since 12noon, till now. nothing gone into my head.
too intensive form of studying? probably.

so i think i'd better catch some sleep now
and wake up earlier tomorrow with a fresher mind to mug till my brain burst.
to at least get a pass. -fingers crossed-

and i am totally saddened.
i got another extra centimetre of fats around my tummy already.
OHMYGOD!
gotta do sit ups, walk around the house and go to sleep.

sorry for the lame post, it is a result of over-mugging.
bye people.

2009-06-03T22:42:00.009+08:00

wasted half my day away from sleeping in till 12.17pm today. WOOHOO!
went to hougang mall to get some stationeries and came back home to study RHT.
but after finish reading the first chapter, i got so bored out and just rotted my time away.
i feel very bad and guilty doing so though. but i just couldn't study!

and so, i thought about my friends.
i realise i somehow 'lost' some of my friends who have different religious beliefs as me.
well, basically Christian.
i am not trying to pass any critical remarks to Christians or anything,
but to what i realise, the situation seems the same.

out of 3 friends, 2 often ask me to go for church services,
however, i rejected because i really got other things on,
and thereafter, they either give me a cold shoulder or they just cut off any contact with me.

the other one, always persuading me to enter Christ,
but i have my reasons. my parents are die-hard Buddhist,
they allow me to go for any gatherings, outing and camps from the church,
but they would never allow me to enter Christ.
this friend, after asking several times, gave me a cold shoulder too.
and eventually, we didn't contact anymore.
the reluctancy in replying of messages is so obvious that there is no interest in talking to me anymore.

religious beliefs,
does it really tear people apart when people don't believe in the same thing?

was talking to Vinson, got contact with only recently after a decade. amazing~
and memories about my naughty-school-girl days came back!
i really cannot imagine how bad i was in the past which leads to me having no friends in my primary school YEARS! can you imagine that?! 4years in school, loathed by the whole class. D:

i am really missing many people now..

friends from Yangzheng Primary (i know i don't have many friends, and it had been a decade ago, i still miss them.)
Punggol Secondary
those crazy girlfriends from CDAC
my 'family' from McDonald's (been reeeeally long since i last saw any of you.)

LET'S MEET UP SOON PLEASE! I REALLY MISS ALL OF YOU SO MUCH!
WE HAD ALL BEEN SO DAMN COOPED UP WITH SCHOOL WORKS AND PROJECTS TO EVEN HAVE TIME TO MEET. BUT HOLIDAY IS HERE NOW! no more excuses. [:

&& my hands are really itching from pool! date me out for pool please, otherwise my hands are gonna rot from itching. OHMYGOD.
but i have to make this clear first, i am rather noob at pool. -smirks-

alright people, goodnight and may my missings be with you. [:

2009-06-02T15:37:00.005+08:00

i was still gawking to crystal, liling and peiting at the table outside the lecture hall when they are still mugging for MicroEcons,
" A LIAO A LIAO~ LET'S GO.."

but then, when i do the paper, i am stucked and i am crashing Econs. thoroughly..

for the first 30minutes, i was still slacking and doing the first structure questions.
until Mandy left, and winked at me, then i 'woke up' and rush the other questions.
but... the ideas don't flow that well, questions are answered halfway.
i am STUCKED! D:

whatever it is, the paper is already over. :)

went to the student lounge with the girls, hoping that it is opened for pool,
and yes, ALL the tables are available, to stare at only..
cause the lounge is closed, but opened for TPSU interview.

so crystal and i filled up the form and waited to be interviewed.
i peeped at her paper and saw her wrote "I'm a quiet person.. etc.."
then i looked at mine and laughed, cause i wrote "I'm enthusiastic.. etc.."
people from the "different world" sitting together. HAHA!!

then..... the secretary or something, interviewed us.
and he said "Don't be shy, just tell me more about yourself."
Crystal did, and she said "I am a quiet person.. ", so i just added "Yea, and it is funny cause i am talkative and whenever i talk, people just laugh, (pointing to Crystal) there..."

after that, there was silence.
the secretary then asked "Any questions?", so i asked about the programmer's thing..
another silence..
then he asked again "Erm, so... Any other questions?"
i was like looking at him, and then realise he was turning red,
from his face, to ears, to his neck! -crazy fellow-

i shook my head, and we left the interview room..

when we were out of the lounge, i asked crystal if she realise that shawn was blushing,
she thought that he sun burnt, but when i told her that he wasn't so red at the start, we laughed.
THERE IS NO SUN IN THE ROOM~
and he got 'sun burnt'.
it infers that....

WE ARE THE SUN -clapping-

the girl beside me now even went to tag in his blog. i bet he would be like a roasted pig when he see that tag. XD
will update again if he does replies to that tag!

BYE!

2009-06-01T22:50:00.007+08:00

FIRST POST OF THE MONTH OF JUNE!!

friends who have read my previous of the previous posts,
thanks for your concerns, but i am fine now.
serious. (:
so don't worry so much about me, instead, contact me on my phone people!
i miss you all you know.. TAKE CARE!

_____________________________________________

stared at my MicroEconmics book for like, an hour or so,
looking at the contents, reading the things,
but nothing go into my head. OHMYGOD!
i guess i must have overloaded my brain memory with OB already.

talking about OB,
had the test today and i realise most of the MCQ questions are giving away marks,
well, do hope i get those questions correct or the marker is bound to be cursing me his/her head off.

so yea, that is all for today!
i just love my readers so much,
because most of them are friends who care for me so much! :D

i think you shouldn't be trying to know so much of my life,
but to go ahead with yours,
there is really no point hanging on like this,
hoping that i would turn back, back into your arms.
why beg for a second chance to be hurt thoroughly again,
knowing that there will be no happy ending for the both of us?
why can't you just move on and OUT of this agony?
just try, and one day, you will.
no matter how painful the process is now.
good luck.

2009-06-01T01:18:00.001+08:00

my previous skin was having this stupid Italic thing in my left column,
so i changed to this current one.

like it a bit,
but hope to create one of my very own and not grabbing from blogskin.

hanyang even told me his friend is using the same skin as my current one.
but well, i doubt there is any chance his friend is coming to my blog,
so doesn't matter either :D

ciaos people,
good luck for mid sem!

2009-05-31T23:46:00.002+08:00

mid semester exam is coming.
been cooping up at home through the weekends,
mugging OB and MicroEcons.
never felt so lifeless before.

not because of that broken relationship please~

lose sense of time here and there,
eating occasionally.
i am bound to get super super fat.

dozed off when studying Motivation for OB,
and woke up feeling so crappy,
must be due to the low blood pressure.

whatever..
i am going to go to sleep again soon,
wake up early tomorrow to study again and go to war..

sorry for this boring post,
but i, myself, had been feeling so bored the whole day.

definitely no relations to the broken relationships..
&& thanks for those kind words from all my friends,
i am fine,
don't worry (:
i am just plain bored from cooping up at home for 48hours.

ciaos.

2009-05-30T16:49:00.006+08:00

today was supposedly our first week together,
but it all ended yesterday.

through those days when you were wooing me, i agree, i have the feelings for you.
therefore i accepted you and asked you to be my boyfriend,
i was very clear in mind at that point of time that i will accept you for who you are.

for the first few days, we were really sweet,
messaging one another so much in a day.

but things got different from Tuesday,
i was really to depressed over my sister's problem and i just don't wish to talk to anyone,
and i didn't reply your message.
you then showed me attitude,
that i am not sharing my problems with you when you are my boyfriend,
but do you even understand how agonised i was and i can't even control my feelings?

but that problem was soon resolved.

the next day,
you messaged me right when you were awake.
but i was still not really in the mood to be sweet talking to you,
however, i had to put on a fake front and text you all those things which i thing would make you happy.

and somehow, in the evening, you were just so random about the opening of a bank account.
i merely asked why is there a need to do so when we already have our individual ones out of curiosity and you told me you were unhappy with that question.

from that point of time, i started thinking.

your random mood had really affected me so much,
throughout the days when you are wooing me till those days we were together.
you are very persistent, stubborn, selfish, over sensitive and really hard to understand.

i don't understand why you just want to be better than 'him',
all you have to do is just have to be yourself, be understanding
but not trying to give me the utmost happiness and everything, No.
if there is love, true understanding between us, the happiness will follow.

your willful thinking brought me to want to meet you today to talk to you,
point out the problems that lies in our relationship,
and the problem in you.

but you argued with the time to meet yesterday night,
pushing it so early and reducing my resting time.
i gave you my reasons but you insisted on coming to my place at 8am and you can rest.
did you ever spare a thought for me?
what do you expect me to do while you are resting?

it was so much pain and courage talking to you throughout our 29minutes of talk over the phone.
all the words that came out from my mouth are really so hurtful but i have no choice,
in hope that all this can go into your mind, make you think through,
and eventually, grow up..

you plead me, you promise you will change just for another chance.
i was really horrible in giving this straight answer of NO.
and your last question really strucked me
"All this while, do you even love me?"
the answer is yes, but your problems had thoroughly overtaken the feelings i had for you.

i tried to fight this bad feelings down, but it took over me.
i guess i heard you cried, it made my heart aches totally,
but i have to be strong, to end this agony of the both of us.
i always play the role of the mean person in the relationship.

finally, you asked me " So there is no chance that we can still be together again?"
i was really begging you that you will still be my friend, but when i gave you the answer of No,
you just hang up and left me in a blank.
that is the end for you and me.

i hope that you can really move on from this,

don't probe over this so much,
i apologise that i cannot accept the way you show me your love and concern.
please do take care of yourself and i do hope to be able to stand by your side and give you support in time of needs, as a friend.

thank you, take care.

2009-05-29T22:24:00.002+08:00

i mugged OB like crazy and only got 12/20 for the quiz.. CRAP!

but, i still mugged MicroEcons in the library with crystal, liling and peiting today,
and i somehow hummed my song too loudly ( peiting said i sang though )..

i wanted to play pool at the student lounge but none of them knew how,
so we just settled out lunch at BizPark and went rotting outside OB's class.
the lesson was alright, and i just don't understand why my mind is always away and when asked to do some work, i am always in a daze till someone nudge me.

Intro to H&T's tutorial was so fun and there was so much laughter when other groups were presenting about their "Dream Destination" assignment.
and went through the lecture and Ms Joan asked calvin to give an example of something which is Perishable ( referring to Tourism) and he just replied "Bread :) "
The class immediately broke out into laughter and Calvin looked so lost.

our class has really nice and funny people around.
and that is what makes out class interesting. :)

and we got back our test papers and i was just a mark away to A!
ARRGH! I HATE THIS TOTALLY!
nevermind kamy, this signifies the time to really put in effort in your studies already.
stop letting your mind wander around..

Projects are piling up again, Mid Semester is coming!
My darling laptop is showing me symptoms that it is dying real soon.
STAND STRONG KAMY! YOU ARE CROSSING THE FIRST LAP SOON!

&& i have yet to make up my decisions,
i don't know what should i be pointing out to you..
you told me that you had fall ill made me imagine the sight of you tomorrow and i told myself that i would not be that strong to talk things out to you tomorrow.
but i have to.
what should i do?
i am fighting war within myself, between me, myself and i.
and i loathe it a lot. i want to concentrate on my studies.. but i am overstressed.
someone guide me please.

2009-05-28T23:01:00.004+08:00

you are just too self-centered,
over sensitive,
and you just stand so strongly in your own perceptions.

you lacks the sense of security and need love and care on a 24/7 basis.
you get emotional so randomly that i do not know how to handle,
creating misunderstanding everyday to make us drift further apart
but you call it a way of understanding one another's feelings better.

but do you even understand how i feel?

you labelled me as being too stress,
with school, projects, exams and previously, my friend.

but the problem that actually disturbs me at interval, is the problem of you.
within this short period of time,
i was on the verge of telling you " I GIVE UP "
but on the other hand, my conscience stopped me.

i cannot be so selfish and irresponsible like how your ex(s) were,
somebody ought to point out your mistakes, enlighten you,
and bring you to the right path in life!
although it might not be totally me, i still hope to play my part well as a friend.

thing don't change overnight,
and i don't force you to change immediately.

i am holding back whatever i am feeling right now,
but i am soon breaking down.
i am a human, i have my own limits.
i am really tired now,
over these 3 problem filling days.
exam dates are drawing real close and i really need to concentrate.

but do you understand where the real problem lies?

you are flooding me with messages once every 5 to 10mins even when i don't respond to you,
and when there is no response,
your thinking runs wild.
and it really stress me up totally.
sometimes i just don't know what to reply to you,
i tried to be sweet to you but it was really hard on my part as those words weren't fully from what i am feeling deep within..

i have no more energy to run this race with you anymore,
it is just too exhausting and,
i really want to give up and catch a breath.

you say that i didn't accept the way you are while you have accepted mine.
but do you know that you are really hard to even be understood?
so how to you expect me to accept.
you gets upset over this issue and refuses accepting any comments.
in this way, would you get to learn?

you don't understand just how much effort i had put in.

you say that i am leaving you alone out there,
not caring about your well-beings,
but in fact, i am standing so much into your feelings and holding on with such difficulties hoping that you would change a bit.

you don't understand how bad and confused i am feeling now

holding on or letting go?
the question pops up in my mind frequently.

the painful thing to say is,
i am living on better without you, i realise it.
during the period of time when my phone was silent from anything from you,
it was really peaceful.
i can really feel the joy with my friends.

now my laptop is turning mad on me too,
and i am seriously breaking down very very soon from all this problems,
if not for all those friends who are reaching out a helping hand to me in various ways,
i cannot imagine how i would be now.

through all this typings,
i think i know what my decision is now.
i just have to confirm it, and be responsible for this decision.

and, you just don't understand a single thing.
nothing..

2009-05-27T14:14:00.005+08:00

my days was filled with worries yesterday
[if you saw the previous post, you will know]
friends thought i was mad because i was so random, laughing the first minute and the next minute crying.
but well, Mandy understands. :)

& people!!! my sister is a GUY
sister is just a mere nickname, don't mistaken..

since morning, Alicia kept me informed about how are things going,
her worries and really cause me to feel so much for her too,
i mean, i am standing in her point of view so much that my tears just rolled down when i think about sister's circumstances.

2nd hearing at 2.30pm..
i looked at the clock, no news from Alicia..
all till 3.45pm, i was told that the hearing isn't up yet. worries flood my mind again.

sister is on bail, but his father didn't make it in time before the bailing time close,
and he have to stay till today morning. Alicia was really really sad, so was I.
i thought that his dad was being ignorant to sister's well-being,
but it was wrong, his family really concern about him..

Alicia told me he would be bailed at 9am,
but later in the afternoon, she was told that he can only be bailed after 2pm!

HEY WHY IS THE OFFICERS AND POLICE IN SINGAPORE SO DAMN EFFING INEFFICIENT!?
[if i gets caught for this offensive sentence, i will fight for everything with my reasons till the end!]

and now, my phone is silent from everything,
no news about how things had gone, no message from sister that he is out already.
-worries-
but no matter what, i still pray that he is fine.

&& people, i ain't emotional or mad ok, i don't cry over nothing~

__________________________________

ok, those classmates who read Mandy's blog should have known a little about yesterday evening's stuff.
she called Sandy "laogong" through the phone and Ben just teased her in between the discussion.

my mum called to say that my godfather is around SAFRA so we gave Mandy a lift home,
mummy was really hilarious and making Mandy laugh so madly, rocking her head so much along the way. and then, Jansen called and tell me he manage to apply off for his part time job and wants to meet me. i told Mandy and we were so excited.
she ask me to tell my mum but i was tongue-tied, so Mandy helped me.

ok, so mum's reaction was " BOYFRIEND AGAIN~?? aiyo~" and gave me that sheepish look,
then kept disturbing me, and tease me non-stop till we reached serangoon.

mandy left to find her boyfriend while we went to S11 for dinner.
Jansen came shortly but he was so shy because my mum keep looking at him sheepishly,
but my mum seems to like him abit. :D

and i realise we wore the same colour of shirt! OMG, telepathy~

lost of place to go, Jansen came over to my house and he sticked inside my room and refuses to go to the living room, mum saw me tugging at him and was like smiling, saying that i am funny.
and sooo, we stayed in my room DOORS AND WINDOWS WIDELY OPENED, CURTAINS DRAWN!!

dad came home, questioned about the big pair of shoes outside my house,
my mum told him and we see that there are "clouds" above him.

and so, i signalled him to make a move and i was so worried about what will happen when i gets home when walking him to the bus stop.
but everything is different from what i thought, my dad didn't even look at me since i got home.

talked on msn, crapped with mandy and went to sleep..

_______________________________

2.50PM

SISTER IS OUT!!

totally lost for words when i saw his sms.
too happy to say anything..
the burden in me just dropped the second i saw the message.

& SISTER! please stop hiding things to yourself anymore,
i hope after this incident, you would really feel who are always behind you and had always been there for you. though it isn't obvious, but they can be sensed.
OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND ABSORB THEM LIKE A VACUMM.

now i know why you are so skinny, cause you don't absorb. LOLS!!
start absorbing from now! :)

take care sister!!

2009-05-26T11:58:00.002+08:00

a message reached me when i was waiting for bus at the interchange,
i could not hold back my feelings but teared the moment i read the message..
i don't know what offence it was, i don't know the seriousness of it, i don't know the consequences.
all i know is that, you are going to court.

although i cried, i headed to school, with a heavy heart..
i am praying within me, " you are going to be fine.."

and i really hope everything will be fine..

take care sister! i really hope that everything will be alright for you.
i will be waiting for you good news..

that is all i can wish for now.

2009-05-23T23:38:00.001+08:00

got prepared before 9.20am and just walked to kaixin GIRLFRIEND's house.

i was suppose to be there at 10am, but you know, boyfriends are always early and i reached before 9.45am.

i really miss her alot ok!

took a train over to VivoCity with an empty stomach looking for food.
but the demoralising truth is that many restaurants are still closed and even looking at the un-user-friendly computer directory, we cannot manage to point out a shop we want..

we walked around and came to a restaurant which is OPEN.

brunched with a beautiful scenery behind GIRLFRIEND,
but we were just too hungry to even want to look at it other than the menu.

Jansen soon joined us and helped me finished a small portion of tofu and my jug of drink as i was over bloated.. thanks :D

pictures of us in Kim Gary [ the place we had our delicious food ]

Watched my first movie with GIRLFRIEND and of course, Jansen and his friend.
The Night at the Museum 2 is nice, but not as funny as the 1st one though, to me..

after the movie, GIRLFRIEND left for her camp and i went shopping around,
Jansen then felt hungry and we went to KFC to settle his lunch.

then, off we go to SENTOSA!!

it had been like, yearssss since i last been there.

took the Sentosa Express and alighted at the Beach Station,
walked along the beach and then sat down to chit chat for awhile.
the sky was so dark that we thought it was going to rain, but the sun eventually show itself shyly when we were sitting on the beach.
and Jansen starts to pollute the air!! D:

the cause of air pollution and ozone depletion.

and since we didn't have much things to see anymore and Jansen complains of backache and i dragging my feet with my heavy eyelids, Jansen's friend agreed that we head back to VivoCity to grab a drink and then rest for awhile..

grabbed a drink from Cheers, walked around and went into Toys 'R' Us and Jansen bought a Rubrik Cube [ or whatever it is said ] and his friend kept asking if he really knows how to play it and he was rather funny to take the little book which teaches you how to play, looked and affirmed us that he will figure it out some day.

and so, we walked out of Toys 'R' Us with the Cube [paid] and headed over to Compasspoint since Jansen said he never really been there before, and that guy looked rather disappointed after seeing what is there.

made fun of one another and chit chat at the bench at SCC and then went home.

the extra one.

had a super exciting and long day today,
tomorrow's will be fun too!
goodnight readers (:

that little secret between us.

2009-05-22T23:22:00.015+08:00

unexpectedly, messages received this morning were those of
" HEY, I WILL NOT BE GOING FOR RHT LECTURE.. SEE YOU GUYS AFTER THAT :) "
looks like not only ❤Mandy and i thought it was boring and a total wastage of time..

sorry jiajie for not answering your call! i was still sleeping soundly D:

met with ❤Mandy for brunch at Sengkang, McDonald's, and i simply wonder why are there stares on her wherever she goes. and funny thing is, she didn't notice some of it. but i helped her stare back, fiercely! LOLS!

ate, chatted, laughed, copied notes and left for school.
reached rather early and just roamed around before going up to class.

Intro to H&T was cancelled as Ms Joan is sick, again.
Took a bus with Peiting, Crystal and ❤Mandy to Tampines and we separated,
while ❤Mandy shopped with me for a while before going back to meet her boyfriend.

shopping alone was usual for me and i was fast!
i bought a top from M)phosis [ with ❤Mandy's affirmation that it looks nice ] & a shirt from Uniqlo.

HOME SWEET HOME~~ :D

the top from Uniqlo.

the top from M)phosis, totally
❤❤
❤

it!

_____________________________________________________

sometimes things are just meant to be shared by people who feels comfortable with one another, and not just with any Tom, Dick or Harry.. and we were just filling up one another about lives since we didn't see each other for days! so you have an issue with it?
so it is just useless to be squeezing in, trying to fit in or anything. It is just useless!

This is year 2009 already, tears don't grant you anything. maybe when you were younger, yes. but please, grow up now.

and do you even know what is the meaning of SOUL-MATES and FATE?
sometimes the feeling just came and that 2person will just click.
so why gets so upset?
have some pride in yourself, friends won't bring you very far, neither can complains do.
i am sorry but i have to be mean. because we just can't tolerate this overly sensitive attitude of yours.

you give me headache!

and i think i look way much better than you even when i go emo.

________________________________________________________

MANDY HAD BEEN SKIPPING SCHOOL SO OFTEN TILL I GOT SO BLURRED UPON WHICH DAYS SHE WAS ABSENT AND WHAT CLASS SHE SKIPPED!! D:

ALRIGHTS READERS, LOVE ME OR HATE ME, I GOT TO GO NOW!

fetching my girlfriend as early as 10am at her house and meeting silly at 11.30am at ViVo tomorrow and it is gonna be a long day for me!

CIAOS ❤

2009-05-22T02:07:00.001+08:00

love is blinded,
so it is hard to proceed if the "lovers" aren't blind.
and i am glad i aren't.

2009-05-21T08:51:00.009+08:00

reached school at 8.25am in school yesterday, i didn't came out earlier or anything, but it's just so coincident that whenever i reach the bus stop, the bus arrives.

and so, i am in school early. :)

and the sad thing is, no one believe that i am in school when i went online while eating at Biz Park. BCS lecture ended in the blink of an eye and STRUCK OF STARS!

MicroEcons was like a machine gun and i can't seem to get anything from the lecturer's words into my mind, a bit actually. so i just took pictures of the slide and stoned. D:

LECTURES ENDED!

went to Cheers to grab some snacks, crystal and i decided to buy Nachos.
i pressed the button for cheese like mad but nothing came out, i thought it need to wait to warm the cheese or whatever, so i waited patiently, but NOTHING CAME OUT!

and with my past McDonald's experience, i opened the cover without hassle and saw that the pack of cheese on top comfortably and and WARMED!

i noticed a white button in it and pressed on it, then the cheese came 'juuping' out.
it was like so sudden and i yelped when it came out, then huixin and crystal laughed like mad..

and since no one bothered about us, we pressed the cheese to our hearts content and

left to do the Intro to H&T project.
researched, laughed, gawked, talk and finished the project.
but midway, huixin shook the paint marker paint so hard i think the cap flew off and crystal and i were spotted golden! hahaha. you can never imagine how shocked crystal looked. D:

and since i am already "painted" i drew a sakura on my leg.

went to mum's office, vacuumed for her then went home, got my heels and headed to hougang mall to meet Jeremy to buy some headphones and microphone.

before he reach, i went to the cobbler and the uncle was super unfriendly, but well, at least he got my heels done.

it is the pair of heels which i had been wanting to repair since prom.

been soooo many months already.
bought his stuffs and went to eat, and there was this little girl sitting opposite me who turned and smiled at me. i like kids ok, so i just smiled back.

that little girl got so excited she would turn her head to look at me so frequently and i felt so harrassed. so i thought of covering my eyes to avoid her.

but i peeped through my fingers and noticed her looking at me and not even taking her eyes off me.
ohmygosh! i think she likes me!

see how decent she looked when she didn't look at me
then how sicko she looked when she eyes on me! D:

went home after that, wanted to write out the MicroEcon's notes but my eyelids were just too heavy so i went to sleep as early as 9.50pm.
and look at the time now, i am already all dressed up and prepared for school since 8am? and my lessons starts at 11am! why the hell am i awake since 7am?

erm, cannot blame that silly to call me at that time because i didn't tell him i wanted to sleep in later.. but nevermind, here i am, wasting my time blogging~

ALRIGHTS! gotta reply to those sms spams, comb my lion-ish looking hair and get prepared to leave. :)

bye readers!

&& i have fallen into your trap, silly.

2009-05-19T21:23:00.002+08:00
today was a really thrilling day for me.

messages woke me up as early as 6.18am,
then since i was half awake, i decided to do my research for CommSkill's essay writing in the afternoon. but i had to skip my favourite OB's lecture. so saddening, but no choice~

and i did the research and prepared slowly, thinking that lesson starts at 1pm.
fortunately, huixin gave me a call and ask told me the lesson in at 12pm and i hopped on a cab.
the amazing thing is, i only told the uncle the location and he just drove so fast,
when i raise my head from my many smses, i am opposite school already.

made a mad dash from Applied Science school all the way to the lab, planned my butt on the chair of BCS at 12.17pm. total crap! cause i will be marked absent after 15mins late. whatever~

BCS finished in the blink of an eye and we had a break,
stick around Biz park doing nothing then went for CommSkill class.
essay time.

i was totally out of the sense of time as i do not have my watch on [ but with that silly's leather bracelet. ] and the clock on the wall died at 11.10..
but all i know is, my essay looks more like some composition with no links to the M.A.P,
and though we were tasked to write a 600 words essay, i only managed to add in more words and bring it to a 500 words one.

HOME-Y TIME!

took bus 8 with Mandy and we saw a guy, Mandy pointed him out and said that he is cool, i looked and when he raise his head, i realise it was my first primary school's friend. but it is already close to 11years, bet he won't recognise me. LOLS!

then we alighted and took bus 43, and i saw a guy who looks cute [ but dozing off ] but i just couldn't take my eyes off him. i am not despo or a paedophile ok..

and the bus ride with Mandy was a weirdie one!
i kept seeing guys touching themselves, those you-know-where..
IT IS SO GROSS! - so wanted to die -

and so, after this stupid, long and disgusting ride, i am finally home. :D

gotta get some stuffs done and go to bed~

2009-05-17T21:43:00.002+08:00

though everyone longed for weekends to come so that they can go out and de-stress themselves, i stayed at home over the weekends and faced the computer for more than 12 hours each day.

i studied half of Intro to H&T,
i completed my APEL's survey and life mission,
but..
i haven't completed my research for CommSkills and i have an 600words essay to write on Tuesday, i guess i am bound to fail it. sighs. i wanted to do it, but i just cannot concentrate.

i wasted my weekends meaningless-ly, wasting my time on those useless stuffs,
all, but not on my studies.

somebody motivate me please!

2009-05-14T01:06:00.002+08:00
BREAKDOWN.

assignments are piling on me,
group works, projects.
we have to check the internet frequently to see if there is any notes to print and things to prepare for the next lecture/tutorials. and everything is not under the same website, missed it, you are doomed. and the most irritating thing is, the password for different websites are different.

lectures are so hard to understand, tutors either talk like machine guns or that they are TOO monotonous and create that blur look on most of us.

and even before we can manage, tests are coming, deadlines are near.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?

i am bound to fail this semester, i can bid farewell to my GPA and diploma.

"POLY IS THE PLACE TO BE!" , " POLY IS FUN, RELAX, HAS LOTS OF FREEDOM, NO STRESS"
it all sounds so ironic, look at my situation now, do i look at all relax?

to others, they will say " why so stress? it is only week 4 man~ "
but to me " HEY! IT IS ALREADY WEEK 4!! ohmyeffinggod, i still haven't got anything into me yet. and i don't really understand anything. "

whenever i walk pass fastfood restaurants and see students mugging hard, i wish i was like them,
at least they know what they learnt, but i don't! what is this!?
and my classmates? they just fleed after lectures and tutorials ends, there is no sign of group discussions nor study group formed. maybe there is, but i know my group don't has it.

COME ON PEOPLE! STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE!
START WORKING THINGS OUT!!

i am concerned about my life, studies, future.
i gets more stressed up when i see my time ticking away while i am getting nothing into me.

please, i need someone to study with me!!

2009-05-10T22:42:00.008+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

woke up real early today to get the food for ahma,
but the weather wasn't on our side.

ok, we agreed with my aunt on steamboat because i know there is that steamboat cum bbq thing in her house, but she was so incooperative today that she refuse to do steamboat. my mum got no choice but to cook everything in a big pot then eat together..

nothing beats seeing the smile on her face :)

and as always, disturbing me. :D

and after everything, i went to cut my hair. [:

i like my new haircut! yea, bangs.

and MANDY, i can't believe people say we look alike..
i think you might be sad because i can be the double of you =

2009-05-10T02:06:00.004+08:00

as usual, i spent half of my life away on msn chatting with friends. but it was fun to have Jansen there to make me laugh throughout our conversation, he kept doing all those stupid things.
that was really capable of him to make me laugh so much.
he was also caught doing funny things unawaringly by me and i showed it to Mandy,
and she went " WHAT THE F**K!? "

that picture will really embarass Jansen, so lets save him some face and post a better picture of him :)

alrights, i gotta sleep now.
gotta wake up at 8am to get the food and everything for steamboat at granny's house.

cause..

ITS MOTHER'S DAY!!
i love my mummy and my ah ma!! :D

good nights people!

you don't have to apologise to me,
just know your mistakes, amend it
and there will be peace.

2009-05-08T19:00:00.003+08:00

it was half way through my bus 34's journey when it started raining so heavily.

jiajie and aaron was there too, and that girl just came and poke me while i was sleeping.

we dropped off at the 69's bus stop and realised we just missed it by a few minutes.
we waited but only taxis passed by, all available when we "raise our hand".

having only the last 8minutes left for school, we flagged a cab, but i was rather sorry that Giam and his friend couldn't squeeze in, he is just to big sized you see.
[ don't kill me please! ]
and when we reached the school with only 2minutes left, jiajie initated the 3of us squeeze under a small unbrella to walk through the shorter but totally unsheltered route towards our school.

and i was all drenched, so was my books and notes when we were finally sheltered.

i sat in the superly and totally unbelieveable boring lecture for like 49minutes and went home,
to get changed since i got time till 2pm for the next tutorial.

received a call from Belicia asking whether i am joining them for Michelle's celebration,
i almost forgot so i simply grabbed any comfortable wear and left the house.

when i reached tampines mall, they are already cutting the cake.

Intro to H&T's tutorial was cancelled so it means,
EARLY DISMISSAL TO GO HOME! 8D

and so, i took bus with Mandy till she reach her boyfriend's house while i went home.

alright, dinner's calling!
gonna have my first [proper] meal of the day.
BYE~~

she just makes a good company ❤

2009-05-08T00:37:00.001+08:00

i just realised that i got into a wrong group,

yesterday, we were asked by the tutor to present during CommSkills,
everyone in our group are exchanging looks until Mandy and I volunteered to do it.

but seriously speaking, we didn't understand a single crap that was written there,
and the tutor just shot us many questions leaving us standing there like idiots when the rest at the table just stare into blank and refuses to help us.

yes, it was supposed to be a group work, but it wasn't even discussed within the group!
points which were half written by Mandy and me were erased and replaced by other's points of view.

so is it still a group work?

if you think you can handle so well by yourself, then why still group?
you are simply too childish and selfish to be able to understand teamwork!
and this are the reasons why i got so frustrated over all of you.

like it or not, that is the fact.
i don't like people who are so selfish even when we are supposed to work together.
however, your stupid character won't succeed in making my life bad.

i enjoyed talking to Mandy on msn through night though.
she made my day.
and she is the buddy Kamy Teo :)

and i am telling you this, if you choose people to work with and refuse to even work with us, you can, really bid goodbye to your desired GPA score.

reason being, we are not going to be together for the entire life in TP,
so if you can't communicate well with new people, that is the end for you, your life.

i guess the one whom i am saying about knows who they are,
you can hate me, curse me, whatever you want.
cause i don't like you either unless you change your god damned attitude..

thank you

2009-05-07T10:59:00.003+08:00

we used to stand together as one, trying to prove to everybody that
we are a team.
United and Bonded are what others label us as,
we ignored about comments that we will separate as weeks goes by.
it's our beliefs.

How ironic our thinkings can be,
clique starts to form,
and differences between each group can be seen.
sometimes criticism remarks are passed behind one another's back.
plans and activities are only known among people in their own clique.

why is it so?

aren't we suppose to be together as how we used to be?
does it really means that if we are different in certain ways, we must be outcasted, discriminated and separated?

why?

normal as it may seems to most of you,
but in my own perception, this isn't a good thing.
i think everything will be better when there is no barrier between one another.
works can be done faster.
when you stand in my point of view, you will know what i mean.
otherwise, just read and go..
thank you

2009-05-02T21:46:00.005+08:00

make-up for those missing posts

27th APRIL 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCELYN a.k.a my sweetest SWEETIE ❤

though i didn't get to meet her today to celebrate her birthday but my wishings reached her very sweetly and although i wasn't with her, she spent her day to the fullest too.

miss ya tons sweetie ❤

26TH APRIL 2009

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY JEFFREY FONG a.k.a SISTER!! :D

[ you are getting oooold~~ -grins- ]

alright, yesterday i went to his chalet to celebrate for him.

i acted clever by going to the DowntownEast's resort, pay for the entrance, got a stamp on my hand and realised i went to the wrong place.
and this really gave Jeff a laugh when i called to tell him that i am lost,

along the way, he told me there was some misunderstanding going on with his girlfriend's mum and i knew what it all meant through the 30 to 45 minutes sit outside there.
i shall not state the situation here as it had already passed. :)

it saddens me so much to see how bad my friend is feeling, although we weren't that close, but the unhappy look on them actually hits me badly, and this bad feeling cause me to cry while clearing up the mess with his friends.

i called to check on his this morning and was relieved to know that he had enjoyed after i left, and he somehow nagged me for the way i wrapped his present, but i was stil glad that it made his day, especially that the gift was useful to him [ a wallet actually :) ].

now that everything have been fine and that you assured me that you had enjoyed your 21st birthday, i am happy for you too.

please don't scold me for crying cause i know i won't be anymore since you are smiling now *peace*

2009-04-29T09:24:00.003+08:00

morning :

though told by huixin and peiting that BCS was cancelled for today,
many people still decided to come earlier to school to see whether it is really cancelled.
woke up like, so early and now about 5 of us are just rotting away in the library doing nothing.
that is our year 1's noob life [ as labelled by farhana ngieng.. :D ]

*editted*
later in the afternoon :

talk craps, waste time, attend lectures and feel bored and school ended.
HOWEVER, we went to check out Bistro, located beside the bookshop, and the food there was delicious [ in my opinion ] and then we finally left school.

here are some pictures.

[ sorry girls if you can't seem to grab them from here, i will pass my thumbdrive around during lab classes then you all just grab them yea? ]

❤ 1K04

2009-04-28T22:11:00.005+08:00

like what lecturers said, week 1 of school is our 'honeymoon' week in school.
though there wasn't much stress faced since yesterday,
but everything seems to goes in fast motion and it went so fast that i don't even get to absorb any informations.
now, everything seems to be very confusing to me..
HOW TO STUDY IF THERE IS EXAMS?! omigosh.

another thing i dislike is whenever school starts at 9am,
the bus would be so packed and i will end up cabbing to school with 3 strangers from tampines area.
this cannot go on, i will be broke very soon overcoming heavy expenses on traveling to school!

i need financial assistance!

and i had skipped some posts for certain days,
will update again tomorrow if i have the time after reading through the books and try to at least absorb some informations..

thats all for tonight!
ciaos

i just don't know why your working life is always that unstable,
i wanted to help,
but thinking what will happen after months simply turns me off.

2009-04-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

today, after lecture, our class went to Tampines Mall to watch a Malay horror movie, which wasn't that horror but pretty lame actually.
but is funny to see how people react to scary sound effects and scenes during the movie.

after the movie, i separated from the group and went to mum's office for awhile to help out,
things were done quite fast so i headed back to school,waiting for everyone in the library.

although there is a large array of books in there, but they aren't really categorized very nicely, should drop by again someday and figure out how they actually arrange the books and might probably find some interesting books there. :D

there was the LRM orientation in the evening and had so much fun and laughter doing the activities.

all classes had TP mass dance after completing all the tasks and the whole place was so chaotic, but most of us are already lethargic after running around so much.

went back to the lecture hall to hear them announce the winners of the orientation, and undoubtedly, our class won the MOST UNITED CLASS prize, so proud of 1K04 manxzszxs!!

and when the emcee said that the Human Barrow Race needs more volunteer, our class immediately agreed and so we went for it, i was the crawler for the race but halfway through the lane, my muscles "screamed" for help. but i still made it through the finishing line with satisfaction. 8D

after the event, everyone took bus 69 and i just board together with them without seeing where it is heading to and till 20mins later then i realise i took the wrong bus.

but most importantly, we had a super good time together!

the exhausted [but happy] us after the Human Barrow Race.

BE PROUD TO BE IN 1K04!

❤ 1K04!

2009-04-17T21:00:00.001+08:00

been having Business Orientation for the past 2days.
it was super fun and Business won the champion again.. :)

and after everything, i gone home sunburnt but contented..

ok, i forced my smile cause everyone beside me was staring at us..

the rumoured spirit of TP?! D: [just kidding]

everyone filled their stomach to fight the war
the STOMP army. :D

helping one another look fierce for the war

Power Ranger lost at Bedok Reservior

STOMPERS getting cooked under the sun

THE REGATTA TEAM!

business school's team!!

apparently, everyone got sunburnt

BUT WE WON THE WAR!! YAY~~

my apologies if the updates comes in very late,
i have some problems uploading all the pictures up and was rather busy these days.

2009-04-13T23:05:00.000+08:00

went back to PUNGGOL SECONDARY to collect my certification file.
i really missed school so much..
from waking up early and dragging my heavy feet ( and bag ) to school,
listen to teachers, principal and discipline masters nagging at us, making spot checks.

and many more...

so, i went to collect my file and went around the school taking pictures and flashbacks starts in my mind..

the path we take everyday

the question we see everyday

the place where we assemble and got our spotchecks

the stress we face everyday last year.

the place where we de-stress
.
the place where we cut queue or others jump queue for food

the uncle who did his part to keep the school safe

KAIXIN, DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THIS?

our cactus didn't die, it blossomed

i miss secondary school life so much. please organis some outings together!!

2009-04-12T00:22:00.001+08:00

i am a typical singaporean who won't wait another minute to go to newly opened shopping centres so as not to be labelled SUA KU

headed to Tampines 1 with my mum today.

it has some shops which brands i hardly see in singapore, or maybe there is but i just didn't notice. wanted to go to Uniqlo, which is famous in japan and the one in Tampines 1 is the first branch in singapore.
there was a long queue outside the store just waiting to enter the store and no one comes out of the store empty-handed.
shall pop by some day and see whats in store..

and so, we shopped and ate and went home

some ( silly ) pictures we took

2009-04-09T13:58:00.005+08:00

sorry for not updating for so long.
been lazy and most of the time, busy packing and preparing for camp.

just came back yesterday and the HOLQA's signature dance move and song kept playing in my head.
I WANT NOBODY NOBODY BUT YOU~

can't really say that i fully enjoyed the camp because the sleeping area is like not air-conditioned, we sweat so much till everyone got so sticky, hot and worst part is that we had to squeeze when doing tasks and all, and it feels so..... you name the feeling..
and we only got to shower during near midnight, we queued in the sauna-like toilet, and everyone is like taking their own sweet time showering, the air ventilator isn't working also. almost fainted in there..

chokage of toilet bowls, basin and showering cubicles.
all these gave me a super bad impression of the school already,
they have no sense of cleaniness and everything..

and all these explains the reason why i dislike residential camps,
although the activities are interesting and make people bond together,
but all those gruesome things makes me pissed.

so if you were to ask me ifi i enjoyed the camp and whether i would join again if there is another one, my answer would be, no..

my apologise if any GLs or anyone who organise the camp see this post but i am not really into camp, being super sweaty and can-cheer-all-day type of person, but i came because my friend asked me to.. so don't get upset whe you see this post..

2009-03-29T19:57:00.003+08:00

sometimes people do wish that time pass faster
to end their work,
for some dates with their friends
or just something special.

i countdown to my last day of work at metro..
and as the number gets lesser,
the more paranoid i felt..

well, there are lots of memories in every corner of the place i go to..

all those laughter and anger we had while serving customers
or even getting scolded by superiors..

though i will miss everything,
but i don't wish to stay on too..
because i wish to enjoy the least and last few days of my holiday..

everyone has to move on,
meeting together and going apart
are all part and parcel of life..

2009-03-22T18:37:00.000+08:00

alrights, been gone for sometimes and didn't much update.
so here i am to do a mass update..

18TH MARCH 2009

JANICE'S LAST DAY

janice is leaving Metro for attachment by her school at the childcare centre.

she made some souveniers for everyone but the straw hearts kept dropping off the sticks
so she decided to remove the tapes of the hearts..

jane wasn't feeling well and sort off went missing after lunch,
while weixiang went to cold storage for like, very long..

so janice and i just took pictures ourselves outside the staff entrance..

was hoping to take some pictures together with weixiang as their counter will be removed at the end of this month, but he took uber long to come back from cold storage so janice and i gave up waiting and went back to our department..

later in the evening, i saw a boy holding the Kinder Joy egg..
so i favoured weixiang to help buy it for me after he finish work at 9.30pm.

and so, he went to cold storage to buy it for me and came back to pass to me at the entrance.. after that, i went up to pass to janice and she got rather surprised seeing it..

Rubiah happened to pass by, so took a picture with her too.. :)

17th MARCH 2009

stock take day..
started work as early as 7.30am today and when i came out of the checkpoint,
scanners are beeping from everywhere..

and everyone had already reached my department and was doing the scanning already.
i was the like the last to arrive.

everything went on fine and the stock taking ended at 11am.

however, the day didn't at all past that smoothly cause i was asked to talk with the managers due to some loss in record of sales for some merchandise which my friend purchased [ or maybe without purchase ] ..

so they want me to ask from my friend clearly so that no trouble would happen to me..

that friend of mine was so irresponsible and cowardy to not respond when i smsed and called her so many times even telling her the consequences of her deeds and i would get into deep shit.
and now, everyone decided to ignore her due to her irresponsible acts.

i am hoping everything would turn out fine as the managers would only give me the answers tomorrow..

2009-03-18T12:04:00.000+08:00
some late updates for my digicam hunting on 12 MARCH 2O09

went to Suntec with adeline today to hunt for my digital camera at the IT fair,
but my new-yet-painful wasted 3hours of our time shopping around the mall..
in the end, i only changed my jeans and bear with the pain and went for the fair.

it was so crowded in there and the promoters at the booths seems so tired in recommending their brands to passer-bys.. but i just focus on those brands which my friends say has good features.

walked from Panasonic's counter to Canon to Sony to Casio and any other brands you can name, but all the features are so lousy and the funniest thing is that when i went to the Olympus counter to try out the camera, the promoter sort of helped me..
but throughout the 5mins i was there, it was total silence between the two of us..

no talkings was involved. amazing way of sales.

and so, adeline and i took all the brochures, went outside and talkd over the camera stuffs and decided to get the one from Panasonic since the promoter was good and the zooming features is superb too.

went to Gloria Jeans to chill out then messaged Brenda to ask where is she working at,
then visited her before making our way back home.

adeline was pissed by our friend who promised to come with us but MIA-ed without even responding to her calls and smses

now to the pictures

2009-03-18T11:55:00.002+08:00

hope everything will turn out fine at work today and that the answers will be out soon.
felt so bad getting betrayed by a friend, whom i think i wouldn't even want to acknowledge anymore.
got me into that much troubles, some of you might know.

may god bless me

2009-03-15T00:08:00.007+08:00

woke up with a heavy head to see that its already 8.53am
even rushing to work will cause me to be late and with a super sleepy look,
i went to get a MC at the overcrowded polyclinic again..

rotted there for more than 2 precious hours to finally get consulted.

the doctor noticed from my record that i had been having frequent headache and advice me to go for some scannings.
he have a point, i should go someday :)

after obtaining the MC, i somehow got better and decided to go to VivoCity with my parents.
its been so long since my whole family went out together and months since i went ViVo too..

did some (window) shoppings and then rested at the rooftop garden [ or whatever ]..

now, more pictures, less words. :)

rocks? they are actually cushions!

gonna say NO to heels and HELLO to flat shoes

love is just so simple ♥

and i mark the ending

goodnight people, sleep tight in such a cool drizzling night ♥

2009-03-09T00:38:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILSON WONG !

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

i am counting down to the number of days left in metro,
and i start to realise that more and more weird people are around me, or rather, us.

- someone who like to snatch sales by telling customers that her brand of shoes is better than the other brand, go for lunchbreaks at her own timing, pester customers, who happen to walk close to her counter, non-stop promoting her shoes.
- a staff whose feelings gets so random and thinking is so childish and making people who work around her very upset by her actions.

but now, i don't wish to get involved in all this stuffs.
since it doesn't concerns me and i am left with only 19days.
so instead of getting upset by it, i shall look at it in another way..

so thats all for now,
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE~

2009-03-07T23:38:00.004+08:00

got my pay today and made my first investment on something which i think is truly worth.
at least it is good for me, but my colleagues think that i am mad to spend so much.
so i brought it home and dare not show it to my mum or she would scold the hell out of me.
but i still think it is worth the price.
all these at $89.60

2009-03-04T20:55:00.000+08:00

thanks for relinking me and i apologise to friends whom wasn't informed of the change to have to be re-directed from my previous link.

well, the reason that i am changing the link is not because i am avoiding anyone.
i just thought the link happy-kamy sounds rather ironic to how i am feeling that day when i am blogging so i intended to change it over to authentically-kamy.
this shows that everything in my post are authentically me, my feelings and whatever happened to me.

so yea, thanks for visit and do remember to re-link me.
thanks :)

2009-03-03T00:36:00.002+08:00

♥

love is like this.
when it happens, it hard to face the fact and start getting used to it.
but when it ends, it hurts so much to let go.
flashbacks of the past still play in your mind and tears starts to fill your eyes.
but no matter how tough it is to move on, you have to stand strong.

i hope that you will get over with it soon.
stand strong and show him that you can do it without him girl,
prove to him that his decision was wrong.
it hurts us to see you cry.

no matter what happens, you still have us and our support!

2009-02-26T22:57:00.006+08:00

headed over to SK polyclinic and there was a board outside stating
" OUR CLINIC IS OVERCROWDED, PLEASE BE PATIENT WHILE QUEUEING "
peak period in polyclinics? amazing~

after sitting there for more than an hour, till my butt hurts, its finally my turn
consulted, paid, got my medicine, submitted MC to HR, met stella for lunch.

rained cats and dogs outside, but lucky it was sheltered all the way to her house.
discussed about the camps and orientations we are going to have before school starts.

left at 5pm to rush back and grab my stuffs and go over to meet mum.

did the GIRO banking documents at Kovan, shopped around and headed to Rivervale Mall to have my passport photo taken. and while walking around the atruim, this red bag caught my eyes and i bought it that instant. well, i did check though.

i just think it is unique.

this bottle of thing is so big that it made me startled for a nanosecond.

and i keep seeing things in big sizes.
- that is stella in the oversized slippers of her brother -

so thats all for today, gotta get ample rest so that i won't wake up into a spinning world again tomorrow.

toodles~

2009-02-26T10:22:00.002+08:00

woke up into a spinning world, i couldn't even stand straight.
so i went back to sleep and forced myself to wake up an hour later.

HEADACHE!!

later i have to go to the doctor, claim a MC for work, then submit it to the HR.
but for now, can i have something to eat first?
[ i don't want to be stated as LBP again ]

2009-02-25T23:19:00.002+08:00

CALLING OUT TO ALL TP FRESHMENS!

ANYONE (PREFERABLY THOSE WHOM I KNOW PERSONALLY) GOING FOR THE WORKSHOP/CAMP ORGANISED BY THE TPSU, PLEASE CONTACT ME!

i wanna go but wish to have someone or some friends to accompany me.
i hate loneliness. :(

SO CONTACT ME! THANKS!!

2009-02-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

ok , sorry for that super random post. lets do a more realistic one.

went back for my checkup, FULLY EQUIPPED with all my particulars and forms, to the clinic.
the nurse didn't read the Self-Declaration paper and say i didn't fill up the things when everything have already been done online.

i have no colour-blindness but the nurse said my left eye is super bad just because i read the numbers wrongly.. oh whatever~ but this is not the only weird thing that happened.
she then took my height and weight for the BMI and she said my height was 159 cm and my weight was 60kg [ overweight, i know ]
HEY! thats is so cool, i grown taller without even noticing it.

next up, the doctor.
he took my blood pressure and say that it is lower than the normal rate and ask me to eat more meat. well hey, i am already overweight and you ask me to eat more meat?
is there any other alternative other than meat?

went to work and got scolded by my colleagues that i didn't report about wanting to change my shift and my irresponsibility resulted in the selling floor having no staffs nor promoters in the morning.. but the fact is, i did call up the supervisor, twice.

and i think i am really down in luck today,
when i just went in to the storeroom to reply sms for like 3minutes or so,
my manager came in and, in some way, caught me.

she scolded me ( the same irresponsibility thing ) and asked me to go up to the office with her.
there, she issued me a warning letter of my late-coming and then continued reprimanding me, even mentioning that its the 2nd time catching me using handphone in th storeroom.
at that point of time, i feel as though i am some extremely bad staff of Metro.

1. Not punctual for work
2. Like to skive in the storeroom, eg. using the handphone
3. Very irresponsible
4. Often MIA from the selling floor and is nowhere to be found
5. Change shift very often
6. Work for the sake of money and not due to interest, therefore resulting in all those negative points mentioned above.

but i really ain't that bad, just down in luck these days.

after getting all those reprimandings, i went back to the selling floor,
took the scotchtape stand and started folding stars out of the scotchtape.
though i stood there for like, hours doing it, no customer approached me for any request though i put the tape down when it starts getting crowded.
probably i am really that insignificant to people, but when bad things happened, everyone would then lay their eyes on me.
this is how pathetic my life could be.

there is still 35days to go to the end of contract at Metro,
but i wonder if i can manage to survive till then.

2009-02-24T23:44:00.003+08:00

was trying to search for tips on how to apply eyeshadows but this topic caught my eyes.
" HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT EFFECTIVELY & SAFELY "

there are plenty of useful tips on the website,
so friends who are on a diet, do check out this website, it might sort of many things for you!

http://www.wikihow.com/Lose-Weight-Fast

2009-02-23T17:55:00.002+08:00
went for my medical checkup this morning [ for poly admission ]
but the person-in-charge told me that Temasek poly's student are deifferent and have to register at the other clinic upstairs for the checkup then after that then do the X-ray.

so i went to search for the clinic and realised that it is closed for lunch and will only be open after 2pm, and its only 12.20pm at that time..
i got no choice but to rot around, take my lunch then go back at 1.45pm and sit at the lobby area.

while registering at the clinic, the clerk told me that i don't have the medical form so i had to bring it tomorrow and do the checkup. i got home and flipped through the booklet sent to me and realised that i had to print out the medical fom and enrolment registration record online. OMG!

so now, i am at adeline's house cause she helped me print all those documents.
her keyboard is those old type and the clicking sound made from it is like the Today's advertisement one which you would hear on tv.. so cool. haha!

2009-02-21T11:48:00.001+08:00

19th February : HAPPY 1ST YEAR TWINNY ❤ [ time past so fast ]
20th February : HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIXIANG

can't sleep tight so i woke up 30mins earlier and stone in front of my laptop doing nothing.
i am pretty much blurry and don't feel so well. but nevermind, the day will come to and end soon.

2009-02-20T23:22:00.003+08:00

i really hate you, you spoiled my mood.

you are so ugly that you need not make up and you will win in the Halloween contest.
your voice is so irritating it made me thought that you were chanting.
you are so messy that you look as though you escape from IMH.
you dark circles are so bad which made me thinks you were a panda in your previous life.
you are so stupid that animals are smarter than you.
your feet stinks so much that i thought they were rotten.
you are so bald that even YunNam and Beijing 101 couldn't even solve the problem.
you always call for help that you will drop dead if you were left alone to handle things.

i just hate you and all these just couldn't be enough to express my hatred

2009-02-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

i don't fit being your friend.
i didn't consider your feelings but picked on you and joined in with others to talk negative things about you.

i forgot how you rushed back to check on me when you were aware that i am not ok.
i forgot how you listen attentively to my problems and gave me your advice.
i forgot all those good and bad times we had together.
i was immuned to how you tried your best to play your part as a good friend to me.

i am too selfish, too mean, too self-centred, too stupid.

all these reasons explains why i don't fit being your friend

2009-02-19T11:49:00.004+08:00

my aunt asked my mum to collect the DVD, Ponyo On the Cliff by the sea, from her yesterday
but my mum was late so the DVD was passed to her colleague and she haven't paid my aunt.

and earlier on, my aunt asked me on MSN if i had watched the show,
then i finally realise, she wanted to tell me that my mum haven't pay her.

do you think we will run away or anything just for that $5?
i owed my friend $50 before but he didn't spam me phonecalls to check if i ran or something.

moreover, we are relatives and my mum is your sister, sometimes she don't even ask money back from you when we go for dinner and you just take it as a treat.

but when it comes to you who pay for the dinner, you will definitely ask everyone to go Dutch and you would calculate EVERY CENTS with everyone.

you are so horrible, stingy asshole!
and now, i don't even wanna talk to you..

2009-02-17T11:27:00.002+08:00

supposed to meet the girls at compass at 11.30pm for lunch with a 'VIP' later,
but the timing was changed to 11am so i rejected and say that i will only go after their lunch.

but i just received a call from jasmine saying that the 'VIP' did a last minute cancellation of lunch meetup.

how big shot can she be huh? make everyone plan to meet her up then now cancel it.
lucky i intended to go a little bit later, otherwise i would have fallen into her trick. HA!

and due to the rushings by jasmine, i think i have to get change and head down to compass to meet them now.

shall upload the pics of our outing when i come back later~

2009-02-15T21:00:00.003+08:00

i don't feel any love from people around me.
including my family.

everything seems to be fake to me now, and love seems to have a motive behind it.
i didn't fall out from love or anything,
but a demon beat the last bit of love in my heart out and i feel all empty right now.

2009-02-12T23:52:00.003+08:00
planned with lifeng to go back to Punggol Sec for a visit but i slept till 1pm due to the over-highness i had yesterday.

i got washed up and went to meet junming cause i am borrowing the spare phone from him for standby as i am sending mine for repair. it's getting lack and the skin of the phone peeled..

skipped visiting and headed over to Wisma for the service centre,
and there was a big notice that all phone which are sent in today will be collected on the 14th of february. oh, what a nice day for singles to go to town.

shopped around FarEast for awhile then headed back home.

girl , i really pity you for your choice.
may god bless you..

2009-02-12T22:38:00.008+08:00
had a gathering with all those friends from CDAC math's class and Ms Chee today at Swensen's.

actually li feng didn't want to join us but was dragged along when i saw her passing by my departent.
and so, we met with adeline and jasmine to book a place and wait for the rest to come.

had a great time catching up but then i realise our table of 4 is already like a market.
it didn't take long for Ms Chee to come and we started ordering our food,

adeline's order came like the last [ almost the same time as Ms Chee's new student ],
i know she doesn't look hungry on the outside, but the fact is, she does.

the spagetti made me bloated especially with the cheese jasmine sprinkled.

after finishing the food, we made our order for our most important thing,
ICE CREAM!!

actually, in between, we kept calling out for waiters to either take order, refill drinks, clear table, asking of utensils, menu, checking if the food we ordered is arriving soon and even asking if they could help us take a group photo.. we even unite to raise our hands cause the waiters were too busy to notice us, or probably due to the troubles and noise our table have caused them. haha!

was very dramatic when sending ms chee's student off at the bus stop,

all of us stood in a row and shouted when he board the bus and waved vigorously when the bus drove away.
though we didn't know him ( he wasn't our tuition mate but was invited over by ms chee to join us at swensen's ) , everyone took turns to talk to him and we manage to get along quite well.

gathering was a great enjoyment today and i am looking forward to the outing next tuesday! :D

2009-02-10T23:42:00.005+08:00
many colleagues are asking the same question when they see one another,
and soon, they will all not be around already.

the question which goes around is " HEY! When you quitting? I am quitting soon, can't stay here any longer.. "
and another colleague in my department left today.

the economy is having crisis now,
everywhere around the world, there will be someone stressing about getting jobless.

although i have a job, i still worries..

my contract ends at the end of March, and after that, i will be entering poly.
but how will i handle my daily expenditures?
after working for so many months, i am already in the habit of being responsible of handling my own expenses and would feel guilty if i take from my mum..

sighs, i am just feeling so miserable and very stressed now.

2009-02-08T00:29:00.007+08:00

trapped in a place which consists of" fishy " and hypocritical peoples.

no one would offer to change shift with you even when you mentioned that it is urgent,
colleagues bad-mouth about another person behind their back,
colleagues telling tales to the manager trying to put the other person into trouble.

its such a boring place , the pay is low and the management is so dumb.
i want to leave so much [ its like, very very much ] , but still couldn't find a job for standby so i can hop over anytime.

SO PLEASE DO TELL ME IF YOU HAVE ANY JOBS TO INTRO.

2009-02-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

it's my off day again~

met up with matthew and went shopping around bugis,

every shops seems to be selling the same thing [ cause most of them are linked ] so we went over to Haji Lane..

the place is so peaceful, especially when you step into each shop, the have this aroma which is so pleasant and makes me feel so much like home.

the feelings is just indescribable, its as though i am in another country.
if i have the capital and have got business skills, i wish i could open a shop there.

as most of the shops are closed, we decided to go to FarEast Plaza,
had our dinner then shopped for my bag.

&& home sweet home at 10pm :)

2009-01-30T21:35:00.002+08:00

the posting message came to me as early as 6.11am this morning,
after reading the message, i had no feelings about where i am posted to.
Leisure & Resort Management in Temasek Polytechnic.
wanted to appeal for another course but don't know which one to choose too,
did a readup of the course structure and decided to just stick to what is given to me.

for now, i will just get busy with work and wait for further informations to be sent to me through mail..

2009-01-29T23:37:00.004+08:00
anxiety

posting results will be coming out tomorrow.
the stupid thing is that the message might be sent over to my mum's phone.
i am prepared to appeal if i don't get into the poly in the first 6 choice.

but no matter what it is, we still have to live life like this..

What is your True Fear?
Your Result: Being Alone

While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Losing Someone

Disappointment

Death

Looked down on

Commitment

Where Your life is Going

What is your True Fear?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

2009-01-28T00:12:00.002+08:00
http://ashleyisourangel.blogspot.com/

viewed this blog created by a couple as a memorial of their baby.
it's rather sad to know that there are people out there who can't see their baby grow up even though they give birth to them alive.
and that they have to see how much their little baby suffer and then hold a funeral for them.

however, there are still many irresponsible couples out there going for abortion, some are even married. but due to those selfish mindsets of thinking that having children will ruin their goals in their career, they went for abortion.

i hope that readers out there who chanced upon this website can pass on this message to your friends and closed ones out there to think carefully.

cherish life..

2009-01-26T21:40:00.002+08:00

though i have been saying it for so many times,
i still wish to say it.
HAPPY "NIU" YEAR EVERYONE!!

the feeling of new year haven't been really that rich this year,
might be due to the lack of gatherings organised by friends and probably there isn't much places to go.. everyone is busy and some friends even went overseas.

work will be as usual on wednesday and i don't know when will be my next off day,
feel like applying for unpaid leave to go to friends' house for a little gathering, but so far, it seems like there isn't much gathering around or probably i am not invited.

well, its alright though.
all will be over in a blink of an eye.

the deepest burden in me now is the posting results which will be coming out this friday.
once again, my fingers are crossed. i don't even dare think of it.. gosh.

2009-01-24T23:31:00.002+08:00
Omen

My right eyelid have been twitching since morning.

Chinese colleagues say that it is a bad omen, aunties says that it is a signal that I will be rich soon.

Malay promoter told me that, according to scientific facts, it’s due to the bad blood circulation near my eyelid, and those superstitious beliefs is that I might be seeing someone whom I’d never seen for a very long time or that the person travelled a long distance and I am meeting him/her soon…

However, nothing of the above happened and my eyes still twitches.

Is it a good or bad omen?

2009-01-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

it's wenting's last day at work today so many of our fellow colleagues changed their shift to eat with her during lunch and sort of bid her farewell ( from Metro ).

as none of us tried Curry San before, so we decided to dine in there,
when we taste the food, there is only one word for it, salty..
from the soy sauce of the noodle/spagetti to the curry of the rice..
and i guess the food also contains large amount of MSG because i got so thirsty after eating.
doubt i will go there again.

SWEETIE [joycelyn] suggested treating me to dinner to congratulate me upon my collections of results, and since i've got the Swensen's voucher, we agreed on going there instead.

had a difficult time deciding what to order as it is like years, since i last dine in Swensen's ( sia suay )

atlas, i ordered a clam chowder in bread ( or whatever it is ) and sweetie got herself a baked rice.
last but not least.. ICE CREAM!!

the hot pan ice cream look cool so we ordered the apple crumble one.

had a rather difficult time peeling the bread after finishing the soup cause it is really hard.

here comes our ice cream!!

and thanks this SWEET GIRL for the treats (:

*i failed as a friend to only know that she stays in a terrace after knowing her for coming 2 years.

although the time we spend together is often short, but the joy we shared is undescribable. :)

2009-01-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

miracles really exist and it happened to me!

got back my results yesterday and it really caught me by surprise.
i got 15 points for my L1R4 AND 20 for my L1R5.

the amazing thing is that i didn't fail any subject and those which i were previously gets a D7 or E8 turned out to be B3 in my results!
simply amazing.

however, there is laughters, there will also be tears..
some of my schoolmates didn't do quite well but i do hope that they are still able to further their studies in a polytechnic.

all the best to all of you out there, and i've gotta get busy with my course selections already.
bye~

2009-01-12T01:24:00.002+08:00

2009-01-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

after all those counting down and waiting, results is coming out tomorrow.
i am nervous, worried and scared.
but i know that it is already too late to feel all this.
what is done have already been done and i had did my best for my exams.

so now, i just hope for the best but also prepared for the worst.
*fingers crossed*

good luck everyone!

2009-01-10T03:15:00.009+08:00
went to Ngee Ann and Temasek poly's open house with BK today,
and it was such a coincidence that i ran into Steven just near the gate of NP.
chatted with him for a little while and then we separate ways.

the campus is so big, i mean, very big.. and every school seems to be on different hills.

while adventuring around to look for the science school, i saw a familiar face talking to some other visitors and just walk up and wave to him.
( sorry, i really forgot your name until you introduce yourself to my friend )

alright, that was wenjun. and it was so nice of him to bring us around the business school.

after that, BK and i were left to adventure the rest of the campus alone.
went to the convention hall which is not only flooded with students and ex-students [ like me ] but also a strong smell of popcorn!
but the problem is, i don't see any booth selling/giving them out. strange..

headed to Temasek poly after that.

the trip there is super long, lucky our buttock didn't smoke. HAHA!

ok now, my feeling about TP.. it is :
- crowded
- chaos
- noisy
- messy
- dark [ as in very shadow-ish everywhere ]

and while BK and i walk around, no student host approached us too. luckily i called Xiao Huang to bring me around, otherwise, i would have just turn around and leave the minute i step in.

after all those walking arounds, we headed over to Tampines Mall for SHOPPING!!
but i felt very bad cause i have to leave BK outside while i am happily trying on the clothes.
sorry eh brother..

when we were about to announce the end of shopping, i spotted COTTON ON!

SPLURGING TIME~

bought a leopard printed top, dress and cardigan.
thereafter, went to SweetTalk, grabbed ourselves Peach redtea and separate ways (home).

tried my new clothes and cam-whored in them.. :P

i didn't buy this, but thought it was nice.. but the price? not nice.. :[

i look so [ much more ] mature in this style.

BYEBYE PEOPLES!!

&& its just another 2 days to go.. the thought of it gives me hell..

2009-01-07T11:31:00.002+08:00
THE DAY I HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING AND HIGHLIGHTING ON MY CALENDAR IS FINALLY HERE!

IT'S MY PAYDAY TODAY!!

my shopping list is getting longer and longer, but i don't think i have the capability to fulfil all of it cause i still have to save up on this and that.. sighs..
however~ i am getting my pay!

and it is confirmed that results are out on the 12th January.
gosh.. it's coming it's coming!!

2009-01-04T12:03:00.001+08:00
getting my edusave bursary for the last time,
wearing my uniform made me felt awkward cause it made me sort of miss my school.

registered at 3.40pm and sat down at the place i was assigned to, the duration was rather short,
even though the emcee told the students to stay on stage for photo taking, all of them just walk off the stage after taking the cheque from the Guest Of Honor.
and due to this, the time taken has lessen and by 4.10pm, we were dismissed.

received a call from Pik's family, a thai friend whom i hosted during the school's exchange programme last yeat, saying that they wish to see my family today. so after receiving my edusave, my parents and i went to meet up with them.

we went to Clarke Quay to have our lunch then walked over to the Esplanade to take some pictures. shall upload them when i receive from Pik.

it's really nice to have a friend from overseas as you can play host when they are on holiday to your country and with you around, they will feel safe.

and so, that's all for now..
byeee

2009-01-01T02:57:00.006+08:00

HAPPY 2009

year 2008 is ending and we are going into a brand new 2009.

and today is the day when my SWEETIE and i will fulfill the promise we made 1year ago,
which is to countdown together and see the fireworks. :D

met SWEEETIE at around 9pm and chat all the way to my house,
as the venue where countdown event are held was too noisy, we sat further away to talk..
and she passed me something she brought from her holiday.

a super big Hershey's kiss.. haha!

as midnight is coming nearer, we walk over to the open field to watch the fireworks,
she is the last person i see on 2008 and the first person i hugged on year 2009!

what a special moment it is. :D

however, i think the celebration is a little dull this year cause we didn't go over to the place where the countdown is held.. but never mind, we still had fun !

can't stay up too late cause i working morning shift the next day.

so yea~ bye~~

chocolate always gets me crazy

2008-12-25T00:54:00.004+08:00

CHRISTMAS DAY !!

WOW! IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY AGAIN~

been damn damn damn busy at work since tuesday, everyone is rushing for last minute shopping and the queue for gift wrapping is like NEVER ENDING! oh my god.. my back still aches from the exhausting work yesterday.

it's a nice thing that Metro is closed for today and i've got the time to rest. :D

and look at what i had got from the seniors and managers there.
they are really so nice. *touched*

&& THANKS SOOK YEN FOR YOUR CARD. REALLY SO NICE OF YOU. :)

ALRIGHT, lets zap back to what happened today..

met up with Angie today as we haven't really went shopping for like, years? D:

headed down to Dhoby Ghaut to complain about the super duper lousy network of my card at Starhub, the receptionist told me soooooooo much craps and say it was due to Christmas that the network got jammed.

at that point of time, i am so damned regretted for porting my line over all because of that stupid unlimited SMS which they are offering.. arrrrgh!! hate myself!!

M1, PLEASE HOLD THIS OFFER OF UNLIMITED SMSES AND I AM SURE TO BE YOUR
LOYAL CUSTOMER!! PLEASE~ T-T

and so, we went back to angie's house after that because she told me her neighbour was celebrating christmas, however, the host won't be back till late evening, so we set off to Bugis.

patronised TWINNY'S shop and bought some apparels from her and continued shopping around, but the crowd immediately turn us off, especially when you see parents trying to squeeze through the super jammed lane with their overgrown child in a baby stroller.

what is with the parents these days? can't their child walk?

after being able to free ourselve from the sea of shoppers in the Streets, we headed to Parco for dinner, needless to say, its PEPPER LUNCH for us :DD

credits to photographer : angie :)
angie finish 3/4 of her food when i went back to the table with mine, this shows how famous the stall is. HAHA
had a rather enjoyable day out though..
once again,
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HAVE A WONDERFUL ENDING OF YEAR 2008 AND I WISH THAT EVERYONE WILL BE BLESSED WITH A FABULOUS YEAR 2009!
take care everyone!

2008-12-21T22:30:00.007+08:00

due to "popular demand" , i am back to blogging ~

been busy working recently, and overcomed many problems mostly from those problematic customers. my superiors and colleagues had been very nice. SERIOUS!!

made friend with most of the promoters from my previous department, and even got one as my godbrother.

12TH DECEMBER '08 - BRIANSTON `BROTHER

to think, it was his birthday! so easy to remember it. haha..

after transferring department, i got to know another group of people and the promoters have left because the sales at the atrium have ended.. miss those time with them so much.

christmas is just around the corner, so i shall wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS in advance in case my blog is left to rot again for weeks. and to all friends who received something from me for christmas, i hope you like it. :))

outside with sister jeffrey cause that time he was the only one free and so i asked him to meet after my work to come out and use laptop together. but the connection was like damn lousy at mcdonald's and i can't really blog, so switched over to the CC and blogged through his laptop..
the funniest thing was that since i met him, i asked him to hold one plastic bag which was actually meant for him, but he didn't knew it, so when i flash the card which has his name on, the look on his face was really funny la! haha!!

GOTCHA SISTER!

so that's all for now..
take care readers~

2008-11-11T23:06:00.001+08:00

FREED

Chemistry/Biology MCQ paper mark the end of O levels for me and i am free.

well, not totally free actually, because there are still stress from looking for job to the results i might obtain. all these are undoubtedly more stressful than those exams.

went to meet WanLin today, dragged our time at her house and talked so much and didn't realise 2hours had just slipped past.
took quite a number of pictures with her, but guess i will have to wait till her next off day to get those pictures from her..

waited at Hair Axis for around 30minutes to get the hairstylist whom i have confidence in trimming my hair. and despite me going for the 3rd time today, i haven't got to know her name. what a failure.

headed over to The Heeren to look for a clutch.
while shopping around in a shoe shop, security guards stand at the entrance and shouted,
" MISS! CAN I CHECK YOUR BAG PLEASE! "

oh sorry, definitely not to me nor WanLin, but to another lady who entered after us.
she stole a handbag, and the shop is tended by her boyfriend's friend.
WanLin even noticed she is pregnant..
what a shame to be caught stealing in a shopping centre and witness by your friends.

and so, i found my clutch and bangle and WanLin bought many accessories too.
her brother came and fetch her and i hitched the ride.

thereafter, i am home..

2008-11-09T12:33:00.011+08:00
was at chalet yesterday for granny's advanced birthday celebrations.

i know there is still the Biology/Chemistry MCQ paper on tuesday,
but i think i ought to turn up for the celebration and give myself a breather too..

and so we arrived yesterday at Downtown East at 10am or so,
left our belongings in the room [ Aranda Country Club ] and went for a walk around the place

went back to the room and chatted with my granny.
and of course, i took some pictures of her when she wasn't aware *grins*

when all my relatives arrived (except my 2nd uncle cause he is in Sydney), we head down to the restaurant near Wild Wild Wet to have our lunch and cut the cake.

and after the lunch, i felt so bored and went for a swim while the rest went for shopping at Ehub.

sweat out all those toxins and fats in me during sauna and realise my cellulites have greatly reduced, you will never know how happy i was..

talked on the phone through the night and lets be frank, i cried while i talk.

my friend spoke what have been puzzling and making me so confused these days..
and i agree i doesn't know how to accept care and concerns from people around me therefore i am trying to avoid them and all..

i remember all your advices you told me ok.. no worries, i am reflecting now.

and my granny is one year older now, everything seems to past by so fast.
this was my granny's 60th birthday , the baby is me ^^V

2008-10-23T18:37:00.004+08:00

IRRITATED

down with blocked nose and cough. arrrrrghh
can't take the medicines or i would fall into such a deep sleep and waste my revision time

alright, back to the exams.
today's geography was rather easy,
not as bad or killer as i have thought it to be and i am so happy about it :D

two days ago was english paper.
paper 1's letter writing was great as most of the tips are given,
paper 2 was more of like a killer because i don't really understand the passage and did not answer very well i guess. but hopefully it wouldn't be that bad and cause me to fail.

6days of study break from tomorrow onwards. COOL~

thats all for now , GOOD LUCK PEOPLE!

3 exam down , 6 subjects and 8more papers to go.

~~1. Chemistry ( theory)~~
~~2. English paper 1 and paper 2~~
~~3. Geography~~
4. Mathematics paper 1 [ 24th Oct ]
5. Mathematics paper 2 [ 30th Oct ]
6. Pricipals of Accounts paper 1 and paper 2
7. Biology ( theory )
8. Social Studies
9. Chinese
10. Chemistry & Biology ( MCQ )

2008-10-20T17:26:00.002+08:00
STRESS

prepared so much for ~~chemistry~~ today,
went to school at 1.20pm and continued with my revisions.
when i flip open the paper, i panicked.
my mind is so corrupted, it is so chaotic in there.
but fortunately, i managed to complete my paper.

i don't wish to mention about it anymore,
so people, if you are kind, please stop asking me about the exams anymore.

1 exam down , 7 subjects and 11 more papers to go.

~~1. Chemistry ( theory)~~
2. English paper 1 and paper 2
3. Geography
4. Mathematics paper 1 [ 24th Oct ]
5. Mathematics paper 2 [ 30th Oct ]
6. Pricipals of Accounts paper 1 and paper 2
7. Biology ( theory )
8. Social Studies
9. Chinese
10. Chemistry & Biology ( MCQ )

2008-10-18T12:22:00.002+08:00
HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO JIAJIE

back to me now.

and i hate what i am feeling now.
dry throat, swollen eyes and a heavy head. it all made me feel so drowsy and i don't feel like studying. totally sucks!
why do my immune system have to play such a trick on me.

i am keeping my fingers crossed for my O levels,
some where deep inside me says that i wouldn't be able to make it through,
can i prove myself wrong? we'll see..

2008-10-13T20:55:00.004+08:00

STRESS

" hey, it's 6am already. aren't you going to get change and go to school? "

okay, that was my dad trying to wake me up today when i just manage to get to sleep 3hours ago. he didn't know that there will not be school since last friday till the end of O levels.

but well, 3 hours later, i was woken up by kaixin's message asking me to meet her in school to study together. and POOF! i am off to school to study.

went to SPC to get some snacks at intervals and before we even notice, it was 5pm already.

some funny things i did before we left school.

it is rather lame, so skip it if you aren't interested. :)
[ the quality falls as it was edited before ]

credits :
- filming , kaixin .
- the idiot in the film and editor , kamy .
- the "wall" , aaron

and the kittens-being-forsake-by-their-IRRESPONSIBLE-mummies-after-birth's drama is back again.
they are whining in the drain just below my toilet.

i am not going to be the " heroine " to call up SPCA and clear up the mess of the irresposible bitches, stupid cats. whole day mating around and now, leave their mess for others to clear up.
mud-brained animals.

HEY SHUT UP! STOP MIAOING THERE. IDIOT

2008-10-12T02:55:00.001+08:00

RANDOM-NESS

been reminded that shirley will be having a birthday party today at her house since yesterday,
but my mum insisted that i have to go to my granny's house before going anywhere,
the worst thing is, she is going at 5pm,
and everyone say shirley is starting at 6pm!
alrights, i am gonna be late.

so i went over to my granny's house and had a light dinner with her
and rush off to tampines interchange to catch a bus to shirley's house,
in the end i reached at 8.15pm or so.
everyone is sitting at the living room waiting for me.
GOSH! it's so embarrassing and i felt so bad about it.

birthday song sung, cake cut and distributed, half of the group left.
[ waiting for the photos from shirley to upload it here ]

heard that shirley had been having insomnia recently,
so i went to The Body Shop to buy her the pillow mist which can make her relax.
joanna and i reminded her to open it 5 minutes before she sleep,
hopefully she really do it and didn't cheat. haha!

and as i walk home from rivervale plaza,
a stranger seems to be challenging me in the speed we walk.
he kept wanting to overtake me, and when i reach home,
it's like i just finished a marathon.
crazy person, living in the same block as me some more.

& now, i am rather mad over my random-ness,
just a simple joke and i made my friend angry over it.
well, probably i got overboard, but i really didn't mean it.
if you happen to see this, i sincerely apologise to what i have said.

2008-10-09T16:25:00.003+08:00
INDESCRIBABLE

Haven’t gone to school since Tuesday
and today is the last day of school already, so i reported to school.
after today, it will be a study break till the end of O levels.

The air is so cold around the school.
The attendance is so poor today and everyone looks so gloomy.
And this is gonna be the last time everyone gets to sit together in a class.

To be frank, I am starting to miss everyone and everything already.

Flashbacks of those times girls get disturbed by the boys in class,
How the class united to chase away a totally sucky teacher.
Those teachers who really strived so much us and grew through the years.

Seriously, I have grew a lot in this 5 years of my life in school, experience happiness and pain that cross my path. The joy, the laughter.

Will friends still stay in contact after graduation
or will they avoid one another and as time goes by,
they eventually forget about one another?

I really don’t dare to think about it,
but i had learnt to really cherish every moments i have in school, with my classmates, with my schoolmates, with my friends.

so lets strive hard for all we can now everyone, towards the same goal.
and leave behind a greatest memory that will be with us for life.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE :)

& all will be missed

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Losing Someone
Disappointment
Death
Looked down on
Commitment
Where Your life is Going
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz